As a general notice to everyone, I've still not been able to figure out what the fuck is causing the display issues on mobile. Nothing about what is written in any of the style indexes or the CSS for those styles suggests the view should be distorted as it currently is, and even trying a few additional work-around methods produce no change.
FOR THE TIME BEING, as a result of this distortion, users can now select their own template. Once logged in, go to profile, modify profile, look and layout, and change your current theme from "blackstorm" (the usual template) to "SMF Default Theme - Curve." Once you refresh the page, it should display a new theme that plays much nicer with mobile devices.